love makes seman taste better
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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