Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I enjoy the company of your penis
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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