he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
