Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Randomize
