so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
