They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
