The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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