I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
