Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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