so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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