okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
