I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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