Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
