Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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