I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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