yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
