She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
