how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
