...so i touched it.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
