3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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