Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
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