I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
