a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
