no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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