I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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