just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize