well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
