She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
