The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
