So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
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I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
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Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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