I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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