Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
