I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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