..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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