Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.