If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?