He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Randomize
