I think I just saw someone hide a body.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.