Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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