I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
