Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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