the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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