The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
