you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
