Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
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i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
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Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
It's not a walk of shame if you run
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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