I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
