wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We talked him into tasing himself.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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