If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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