i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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