last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
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We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
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Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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