Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Randomize
