I wish i was in the wii world.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
