Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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