Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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