Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
even my farts smell like vagina
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
