I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
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