ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
