I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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