What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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