She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Boobs speak an international language.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Everyone says I win the strip club
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
