I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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