I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
