well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
