Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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