Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
the liver wants what the liver wants
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
where are my eyebrows?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
