HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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