Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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