So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
