Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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