Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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